Everything happens for a reason

I guess the worst part about being let down is the fact that in your head everything was perfect. Everything was going to go perfect. But that's when you realize that there's no such thing as perfect. When you look back on the memories and when you realize how happy you felt back then or when you look at an old photograph from around that time and you see a glow in your face or a sparkle in your eye and you look at pictures from the present day and you realize that sparkle is missing and that glow faded. That's when you really start to feel it. That sick feeling in your stomach and that overwhelming feeling in your head. Or how you swear you can really feel your heart breaking into a million little pieces. You start to wonder if there's ever a chance you're going to be that girl again. The one who had the sparkle in her eyes and the warm glow that lit up her enitire face. That's when you start to wonder if there's ever going to be a day where you just cant feel anymore. You cant feel any emotions at all and you're just numb. But what's even scarier is the eerie thought of never being able to shed another tear. Like one day what if you just run out of tears. What if your heart can only break so many times or what if you can only handle so much pain and heartbreak. What if there is seriously nothing going your way and it just gets worse? Are you really gonna make it still? It's the dark thoughts late at night and it's the laying in bed wide awake being scared and feeling your heart beating out of your chest and tasting the salt from your tears as they land on your lips as you try not to sob too loud. But you keep telling yourself "everything happens for a reason" but is that really true?